Well there are a couple of things I could do with this blog
post. One- I could apologize constantly for not updating all of you on the huge
life events that have taken place in the past two months. Two- I could recount
those events in detail which may take forty or fifty pages in Microsoft Word.
Or 3, I could let you know the thoughts that run through my mind on a daily
basis.
Let’s go with a mix of all three.
Thoughts on a daily basis (as I sit in my four hundred dollar
office chair at work being stressed out by the millions of papers around me
that I must sign and push to someone else’s desk):
Oh my gosh I’m engaged… Ok it’s not that weird, it’s Rudolf .
When’s the wedding? Where am I going to have the reception…..Oh my word why is
Enterprise letting me sign as the “purchaser” on hundreds of vehicles….Is
someone going to sue me for signing this someday? I have never purchased a car
in my life. Dad does that…I guess Rudolf will do that. But do I need to know
how to buy a car before I get married? Is that one of those “independence”
things?? Where’s the list of things a girl should know before she grows up? Is
that in the book of Leviticus somewhere? I should probably google that.
Ok. So there is a small glimpse into how my thoughts have
RACED lately. I am so blessed to be engaged. Rudolf is an amazing, Godly man
who I am thrilled to spend forever with…and I am surprised each day that he
continually still says yes to me. I am pretty sure that by the time we say our
vows sometime next August, this type-A, perfectionist, worrier, over-achiever
is going to emotionally kill my kind, patient, loving level-headed man. Here’s
hoping Bailey’s anxiety about life doesn’t kill everyone before we even get to
the good stuff.
I say that jokingly, but not. I have always struggled with
wanting to make things perfect in my life, to “feel” like everything was in tip
top shape. And I hardly remember a time when that was a reality. I have such
high expectations for myself and the way my life should run that it can put a
huge damper on just my day to day existence. Not that I am not blessed,
grateful or excited about the things to come…but sometimes, when there are a
bunch of new changes all arising in front of me, I want to handle ALL of them
right now and make sure that they are ALL going to be ok.
When you are talking about a new job, graduating in December,
taking a summer school class, saving money for the future, figuring out an
internship in Brussels for the spring, applying to grad school, thinking about
life overseas, and PLANNING my freaking wedding….fixing everything right now is
not really an option. Which is a tough pill for this anxious one to swallow.
A couple of big life updates:
1. Yes, I got engaged in Paris J The whole trip abroad was incredible. I got
to see and get to know Rudolf’s family. It was so neat to see so many different
members of his family and once again realize that I am going to be a part of
two families who are worlds away from each other, but who are so much alike.
Both love Jesus, serve him and are pretty goofy and fun in there own ways . I
enjoyed countless nights sitting with Rudolf’s mom and dad, getting to know
them more and more and relaxing at their home. Rudolf’s mom and I also had
several incredible conversations about the Lord…that spoke so clearly to my
heart, and brought such joy to me, realizing even in more detail the type of
heritage both Rudolf and I have. We left
for Paris as a surprise quick trip to visit one of Rudolf’s friends. I honestly
had a feeling Rudolf may propose during the trip…because well..IT’S PARIS. We
stayed for a few days, visited the sites, got to go to DISNEYLAND IN PARIS, and
had some wonderful memories. The entire time in Disneyland we decided Paris had
stolen joy from the rest of the world. First of all, it’s the city where everyone supposedly falls in love, it
has incredible history, phenomenal cites…and on top of it all, Disney decided
to plant a themepark just outside the city. Really? What about Moscow, Oslom,
Berlin, Zurich, or any other cold, sad city in the world? Nope. Disney decided
to just double the love with a beautiful themepark, wonderful characters and of
course, a PINK castle.
Anyway. We got to the last night of our trip and
nothing had happened…so I thought maybe I was crazy and to just not think about
anymore. Well after dinner, Rudolf wanted to show one of his favorite
jazz/blues places in the city, or so I thought.
We headed over in a taxi, and when we got out Rudolf told me the place
we were going was just across the bridge. And all of a sudden, on the bridge, I
realized we were outside the Louvre, over the Seine, on the famous lockbridge,
where couples come and put a lock on the bridge and throw the lock in the river
to symbolize their everlasting love. I got really excited that this jazz place
was right out side the Louvre and decided we needed to take a few pictures on
the bridge. I was still mostly oblivious at this time. We take a few pictures,
hug, and all of a sudden Rudolf pulls back and starts telling me how he always
knew it was me. And all I can remember is asking, “Umm so are we going to the
jazz place babe”…he just smiled, shook his head, and got on one knee. He
started telling me a whole bunch of
amazing things that to be honest I have no memory of…I was a little
excited. And then, all of a sudden he says…”Bailey Jo, will you marry me?” I
remember squealing yes, hugging my man, and wanting to start taking pictures
with my beautiful ring. It was a memorable engagement, but I just can’t wait to
start the rest of our lives…especially in the same city J I love the way he loves me, so unconditionally,
steady and true. Constantly reminds me how Jesus loves me. Rudolf challenges me
spiritually, intellectually and emotionally everyday and I am so excited to
grow with him for the rest of my life, no matter what continent that is on J
2. I am graduating early-
Rudolf and I are really excited about spending six months before we get married
in the same city together. He will be working and I will be interning in
Brussels, giving us some much needed “normalcy” before all the wedding
craziness begins. I will be graduating in December with a Social Science
degree, minor in International Relations and Philosophy and headed to intern
(hopefully with a branch of the US Government) in mid-Januray. We will head
home in August, get married mid August, honeymoon and head back to Europe for a
year that September so I can complete my master’s degree in International Law
at the University of Kent in Brussels. I don’t know where we are going to be
after that year, but I know that the Lord will gudie us. We are really excited
about looking into some travelling and volunteering opportunities before
settling down somewhere, most likely in the states somewhere. But who knows? We
serve a big God, who knows where he will take us, teach us, and show us about
this wonderful world.
3. I miss Kamp, being at work
all day is hard. I love Enterprise and the people at the company where I work,
but I think I was a little spoiled with the summer job I had for the past two
summers. I have been so used to work that means so much to me, work that I put
my heart and soul into, work that is so hard but so rewarding. I loved my
eleven and twelve year old girls that I took care of all summer, I put my all
in them and constantly sought the Lord to try and grow the way he wanted me to
so I could love them the way He need me to. Needless to say, sifting through a
whole bunch of documents about vehicles being rented and leased for different
companies is not the same kind of heart-wrenching work. It has definitely taken
some getting used to, but again, the Lord is faithful. I have been placed on a
team that has two wonderful Christian ladies that have taken me in, treated me
like a friend and been so unbelievably kind to me. Through all this crazy stuff with my dad,
they were so supportive, told me they were praying for him and dedicated on
keeping in touch with me beyond work. I know that the work may not have Jesus
all over it, but I know that God is at work in that building and uses people
despite how boring or business like the job is. Praise God for that.
4. Bob Bollinger does not
have cancer. Praise the Lord. Back in May, before I left for Europe, my Dad sat
all of us down, told his he had a bad scan a few weeks back and that they
needed to do some follow up work on his lymphnods in his throat. Needless to
say, the next weeks were agonizing, we never knew what was exactly wrong or
what to expect. It was hard to not think the worst, but then again, I couldn’t let
myself “go there” in my brain just yet, it was just too scary. Dad had another
scan when I got back from Europe, the “problem area’ in his throat was still
there, so they decided to take out his tonsils and his lympnods in his throat
to biopsy whatever “it” was and make sure it wasn’t his cancer coming back. At
that point, I honestly thought it was cancer, I knew dad had lymphoma before
and I couldn’t figure out why his lympnods would be affected again if it wasn’t
the cancer coming back. I am so glad that I serve a bigger God than what I am,
because what “it” actually was…was a virus that can look like cancer and they
got all of it when they removed his tonsils and lymphnods. We had people all over the world praying, and
I honestly think that it is because of all of those people that we are sitting
here cancer free today. God is faithful and hears the prayers of his people.
5. I got to be a bridesmaid in my first wedding.
And I am so excited that my friend Meleah’s wedding was the first one I have
ever been in. Her love story with her now husband Ricardo is everything I want,
have and more. I watched Meleah and Ricardo fall in love a few years ago, and I
looked up to both of them so much. I observed how they acted, loved each other
and just were so normal around each other constantly. It was one of the first
couples my age that were living out their faith in their relationship that I
got to watch all the time. They were such a great example for me. I remember
watching Ricardo look at Meleah at dinner at school sometimes, and seeing the
love he had for her just spill over in everything he did. He was not mushy,
over bearing, over physical…but you knew he unwaveringly, unconditionally loved
her. I don’t know if Meleah knew it at that time, but I knew that Ricardo was
the one for her way back then. I remember the way they conducted themselves,
what they stood for and the way they talked about each other during my first
year at school so vividly. I knew I
wanted that. I wanted that kind of relationship…that stood for so much more
than what most couples my age were standing for. I think that one of the
reasons I have what I have today is because of the way I looked up to Meleah
and Ricardo. It was so WONDERFUL being able to be her maid, helping her, loving
her, hearing her laugh and cry. It made me that much more excited for my
special day. It was so fun to be a part of SUCH a special day for a couple that
I looked up to so much, a couple that I know in my heart are MADE for each other,
and who share such genuine love based on Christ. Their ceremony was Christ
centered, their reception, decorations, and I know their lives will be as well.
I am so excited to see where God takes them. Meleah had been fervently praying
for good weather for her all outdoors ceremony and reception since the day she
got engaged ten months ago. And to be honest, I thought the Lord would grant
the “no rain” part of that prayer, but not the “no heat” part of the prayer.
Well, the Lord hears the prayer of a young woman who seeks him all the time….becuase
yesterday, it rained mid-afternoon and cooled the whole wedding ceremony and
reception down by twenty degrees. It was partly sunny and 75 the entire time of
the wedding activites. We have had over 100 degree temperatures for ten days in
a row here in Missouri, and this was
literally the only four hour break that happened in the course of these past
two weeks. Coincidence? I think not. I hope to learn to pray like Meleah does,
to constantly seek the Lord and know that His way is the only way to true life.
How blessed I am to have such Godly, encouraging friends to help through this
life.
Love endures all things,
hopes all things and endures all things. And that love can only stem from Jesus
Christ.
