Well…since the name of this blog is still useful (Brussels and Beyond), I figured I would keep everyone updated with a post or two from time to time.
For those of you that don’t know, about three weeks ago I moved to Brussels for the second time. I had finished my bachelor's degree this past December at Evangel University. I ended up graduating with a Social Science Major focused on law and two minors in international relations and philosophy.
After Rudolf proposed in May, I really wanted to finish my degree early in order to give us some time in the same city before we got married. I searched high and low for an internship in Brussels in order to further my future career and to give me time in the same city as my fiancée. Incredibly enough, I got a response from a man named Nick at the European Parliament after one of my first emails. He works for Baroness Sarah Ludford at the European Parliament, and he said they are constantly looking for good, English speaking interns. Baroness Ludford is from the UK, her constituency is in London and she is on the Civil Liberties, Foreign affairs and Human Rights committees at the parliament. Nick and I had a great conversation this past summer. He ended up asking me to join the team for the spring.
Sometimes I feel as if God opens doors not just for the opportunity that is behind them but for confirmation that He is in front of us and guiding our way. That is exactly how I felt with getting my internship so quickly this summer. It was confirmation straight to my heart that God was ordaining my steps. Not only did I get my internship confirmed, but I found out that my MEP (Member of European Parliament) (Sarah Ludford) was/is passionate and involved with so many of the issues that pull at my heart all the time: human rights and human trafficking and EU-US relations (she is on the US Delegation for the EU and makes a trip to the states to talk to members of Congress every year). Even back in July, I was so shocked and excited to work for a woman that shared some of my passions. I would have been happy to intern under any parliament member….even the ones focused on economics, trade, fishing, food/health, etc….But God’s grace and provision doesn’t just provide for the minimum- He provides for whatever we need to know that we are in His will, following his footsteps in the sand.
Anyway—I left for Brussels Thursday, January 3rd. Rudolf was here over Christmas break and it was so wonderful to spend the holidays with ALL of my family and friends. It made leaving even harder. On Thursday morning, I dropped Rudolf off at the airport so he could catch his flight to Atlanta and then to Brussels. I then went home, got all packed, and headed back to the airport. About six months ago when I started looking for flights, I found out Rudolf’s flight would cost me about 400 dollars more than a few other flights I found….So of course, I decided for the cheaper route, knowing that there were many things I could do with 400 dollars with a wedding coming up.
I got to the airport, scared, anxious but ready with my wonderful momma and dad by my side. We said goodbye, me in sobs, them both in tears…. And somehow I remember a voice inside of me saying, “It’s ok Bailey…this is part of My plan”. I told them that, they smiled and nodded, held me tight and then let me go.
I got to Washington D.C., a little numb from the tears but still in an “ok” emotional state.
5PM roles around; I am at my gate, ready to board along with the other 400 (or atleast it seemed like it) people on this international flight. At around 5:30, 30 min after we were supposed to start boarding, the United flight people make an announcement that there are mechanical issues with the plane and that we won’t be taking off until atleast 7:30. So, I text Rudolf, my parents, and some friends. Rudolf’s plane was boarding and HE was getting to leave on time. We ended up boarding at around 7:00 PM. We then waited on the plane for about an hour, during which time I watched two TV episodes. Finally around 8 or 830PM we begin to taxi and get ready for take off. Our plane gets to the runway, starts its engine and begins going extremely fast down the run way….And then, we stop, the plane slows down and we begin to circle back to the gate. Our captain makes an announcement… the engine light came on again and the plane was still not fixed. We then disembark the plane. And by disembark I mean …it takes everyone almost 30 minutes to get all their stuff out of the overhead bins, get all the babies in their strollers and walk down the rickety flight of stairs to get back into the airport.
The United attendants tell us that the plane won’t be ready til at least 10:30PM. So, all of the passengers attempt to run to get some sort of nourishment that we were being promised on the plane. I ate my food at some random airport restaurant, and then sat by the gate and waited some more. My “confident and calm” emotional state has all but been lost by now after boarding my plane and then getting off of it. 1030 comes around, they tell us our flight is cancelled and to make our way to the main terminal to get more information. So then the mad dash to try and get a hotel room ensues. I somehow (the Penny inside of me) begin to lead the pack of angry travelers around the main terminal at about 11PM trying to find which United desk on which floor we are supposed to talk to. Eventually, I find it and make my way to a beautiful hotel room with 30 dollars worth of food vouchers. Mom stays up with me until I’m in bed, clean and finally a bit more relaxed. She even finds one of my friends that happened to be in the area through Facebook, got her to text me and make me feel not so alone in a huge city.
The next morning, after some breakfast in bed by myself, I come to the completely logical decision that I do not want to do this anymore. This room is too quiet. I don’t have all my normal stuff with me. When can I go back to my loud home with my brother, sister and dog roaming about? When do I get to have a family dinner with my favorite people again? When do we get to bicker and fight again about who is doing the dishes? In that moment, the longness of the trip, the lonliness of the huge hotel room, and the great unknown I was about to embark on got to me. And I snapped. And when I mean snap I do not mean a few quiet tears rolling down my cheeks. I mean sobbing in my clothes I have already worn for 24 hours, getting snot all over everything, and FaceTiming my dad at work begging him to just let me stay with him….that Rudolf can find a job over in the states…and I can live in the basement forever….and we can all be happy.
When I was about five on my second day of Kindegarten, I remember walking into school and some little snot nosed kid that was in my class looked over at me and asked me if I had done my homework. I still, to this day, remember the panic that rose in my chest and the absolute confirming thought in my mind of “oh my dear God I didn’t do my homework….I need help!!!” I dashed back to the car that my dad was in that was thankfully still in the parking lot and grabbed his hand sobbing. I was absolutely NOT going to face this dire circumstance without him. So my big strong dad, took me by the hand, walked me into my class, and asked the teacher about the “homework”- of which she replied to with “Oh my goodness no of course there is not homework…they are in Kindegarten”. Thank you idiot boy whoever you are for getting me that worked up.
Anyway, throughout my life there have been those moments. Those moments of “Nope. Ain’t gonna happen. Not walking through that door alone”. …Those moments when you realize that just about everything you know, love and appreciate is behind you and there is some big scary monster called “unknown” in front of you telling you you haven’t done your homework.
Cheerleading tryouts. My first day of Middle School. A lot of my days in middle school. My first day in high school. Going to camp Kanakuk by myself. Going to college. Going to Belgium. And now, coming back to Belgium.
This time, my dad wasn’t in the car in the parking lot waiting for me, but on a phone talking to me through skype. His words, my momma’s words, friends prayers and my fiancee’s encouragement, coaxed me through those next few hours.
And then something hit me that my Mom had told me over Christmas break. She was reading a book called “1000 gifts” by Ann Voskamp. This devotional/bio story tells the story of one woman’s journey to find joy admist every single day with Christ. She talks about how in the Bible, the thanksgiving always precedes the miracle. And even when Christ is at his most vulnerable, he thanks God. And then the miracle of his resurrection and our salvation occur. Mom told me this whole story about giving thanks. About trying to write down “gifts” or things we are thankful for each day in order to find true joy…to be able to see better how God is ALWAYS there for us. She told me all about this book and then gave me the book and the devo for Christmas.
So as I was standing in line for the bus that was about to take me back to the airport for my second attempt at flight, I remembered her words. “Count your Blessings---even if they are just as small as the sun in the sky and the oxygen in the air…just keep counting”.
So with every ounce of energy I had and attempting to ignore the huge lump of fear in my chest, I started to thank God. I made the conscious choice to begin to thank him with everything I had.
I thanked him that the bus we were getting onto had a sign on it for an “AGAPE International Church” that the bus was used for earlier that morning. He was here with me…showing me that his love for me was unconditional (AGAPE).
I wrote down that one simple thanks into a list on my phone titled “Thankful” and then closed it. I sat next to a nice, quiet Indian girl who looked about my age for the next 30 minutes on the way back to the airport.
As we pulled to the airport, she sighed at me and said “Thank goodness we are finally leaving”. I smiled and introduced myself. She asked where I was going and what plans I had in Brussels. I told her about my internship, my future work at the Parliament and my incredible fiancée.
I finish briefly and she smiles and says…I am interning at the Parliament next semester too! I thought my heart was going to stop. It took everything in me not to hug her. Out of all the people on that shuttle who were on the plane from the previous night, I sat next to a girl who was also interning at the European Parliament this semester.
We began to talk so quickly. It was so comforting to feel like I had a friend to help me get through the next 12 hours. She told me about her life, her schooling, her parents…just about everything. We talked about already being homesick, about our great families. All of it.
And then as we got to the gate, I pulled out my phone, and asked her for her full name so I could add her as a friend on facebook. So, my phone opened up to my last saved note “Thankful” …and I handed it to her as she typed in her name. Ashta Sharma. Her name stayed there as number 2 on my thankful for list; I am thankful for Ashta and the timing of her presence in my life.
So, thanksgiving precedes the miracle. Even if it is just one tiny thanks about a bus taking a girl to an airport. The miracle may seem small to you…but having a friend in that moment meant the world to me, and only God knew how to provide that.
I have continued to try and give thanks each day since then…and now it is so much of what I think about. It help brings into perspective who I am, what I am doing here but more importantly who the God I serve is and all the majestic opportunities, big and small, that he provides for me.
So, the first part of my trip was scary, hard and overwhelming, but the past three weeks have been some of the coolest of my life. I am learning so much about the human rights world and political world that I long to be a part of. Lots of interesting meetings, seminars and workshops. I wake up every single day yearning to see what the day will hold and who I will get to meet and talk to (plus almost everyone in my office is British so its fun talking with them anyway lol).
I am so glad I didn’t go home three weeks ago. I am so glad that He knows the plans He has for me.
I know that little girl who “didn’t do her homework” in kindergarten will come back again, whether it is when I move to a new country, have a baby or start a new career…but I also know that my heavenly father (and earthly father/fiancée probably too) will always be able to take my hand and walk with me back where I am supposed to go, telling me gently that it is going to be alright
Love you guys,
Another blog update coming soon!
For those of you that don’t know, about three weeks ago I moved to Brussels for the second time. I had finished my bachelor's degree this past December at Evangel University. I ended up graduating with a Social Science Major focused on law and two minors in international relations and philosophy.
After Rudolf proposed in May, I really wanted to finish my degree early in order to give us some time in the same city before we got married. I searched high and low for an internship in Brussels in order to further my future career and to give me time in the same city as my fiancée. Incredibly enough, I got a response from a man named Nick at the European Parliament after one of my first emails. He works for Baroness Sarah Ludford at the European Parliament, and he said they are constantly looking for good, English speaking interns. Baroness Ludford is from the UK, her constituency is in London and she is on the Civil Liberties, Foreign affairs and Human Rights committees at the parliament. Nick and I had a great conversation this past summer. He ended up asking me to join the team for the spring.
Sometimes I feel as if God opens doors not just for the opportunity that is behind them but for confirmation that He is in front of us and guiding our way. That is exactly how I felt with getting my internship so quickly this summer. It was confirmation straight to my heart that God was ordaining my steps. Not only did I get my internship confirmed, but I found out that my MEP (Member of European Parliament) (Sarah Ludford) was/is passionate and involved with so many of the issues that pull at my heart all the time: human rights and human trafficking and EU-US relations (she is on the US Delegation for the EU and makes a trip to the states to talk to members of Congress every year). Even back in July, I was so shocked and excited to work for a woman that shared some of my passions. I would have been happy to intern under any parliament member….even the ones focused on economics, trade, fishing, food/health, etc….But God’s grace and provision doesn’t just provide for the minimum- He provides for whatever we need to know that we are in His will, following his footsteps in the sand.
Anyway—I left for Brussels Thursday, January 3rd. Rudolf was here over Christmas break and it was so wonderful to spend the holidays with ALL of my family and friends. It made leaving even harder. On Thursday morning, I dropped Rudolf off at the airport so he could catch his flight to Atlanta and then to Brussels. I then went home, got all packed, and headed back to the airport. About six months ago when I started looking for flights, I found out Rudolf’s flight would cost me about 400 dollars more than a few other flights I found….So of course, I decided for the cheaper route, knowing that there were many things I could do with 400 dollars with a wedding coming up.
I got to the airport, scared, anxious but ready with my wonderful momma and dad by my side. We said goodbye, me in sobs, them both in tears…. And somehow I remember a voice inside of me saying, “It’s ok Bailey…this is part of My plan”. I told them that, they smiled and nodded, held me tight and then let me go.
I got to Washington D.C., a little numb from the tears but still in an “ok” emotional state.
5PM roles around; I am at my gate, ready to board along with the other 400 (or atleast it seemed like it) people on this international flight. At around 5:30, 30 min after we were supposed to start boarding, the United flight people make an announcement that there are mechanical issues with the plane and that we won’t be taking off until atleast 7:30. So, I text Rudolf, my parents, and some friends. Rudolf’s plane was boarding and HE was getting to leave on time. We ended up boarding at around 7:00 PM. We then waited on the plane for about an hour, during which time I watched two TV episodes. Finally around 8 or 830PM we begin to taxi and get ready for take off. Our plane gets to the runway, starts its engine and begins going extremely fast down the run way….And then, we stop, the plane slows down and we begin to circle back to the gate. Our captain makes an announcement… the engine light came on again and the plane was still not fixed. We then disembark the plane. And by disembark I mean …it takes everyone almost 30 minutes to get all their stuff out of the overhead bins, get all the babies in their strollers and walk down the rickety flight of stairs to get back into the airport.
The United attendants tell us that the plane won’t be ready til at least 10:30PM. So, all of the passengers attempt to run to get some sort of nourishment that we were being promised on the plane. I ate my food at some random airport restaurant, and then sat by the gate and waited some more. My “confident and calm” emotional state has all but been lost by now after boarding my plane and then getting off of it. 1030 comes around, they tell us our flight is cancelled and to make our way to the main terminal to get more information. So then the mad dash to try and get a hotel room ensues. I somehow (the Penny inside of me) begin to lead the pack of angry travelers around the main terminal at about 11PM trying to find which United desk on which floor we are supposed to talk to. Eventually, I find it and make my way to a beautiful hotel room with 30 dollars worth of food vouchers. Mom stays up with me until I’m in bed, clean and finally a bit more relaxed. She even finds one of my friends that happened to be in the area through Facebook, got her to text me and make me feel not so alone in a huge city.
The next morning, after some breakfast in bed by myself, I come to the completely logical decision that I do not want to do this anymore. This room is too quiet. I don’t have all my normal stuff with me. When can I go back to my loud home with my brother, sister and dog roaming about? When do I get to have a family dinner with my favorite people again? When do we get to bicker and fight again about who is doing the dishes? In that moment, the longness of the trip, the lonliness of the huge hotel room, and the great unknown I was about to embark on got to me. And I snapped. And when I mean snap I do not mean a few quiet tears rolling down my cheeks. I mean sobbing in my clothes I have already worn for 24 hours, getting snot all over everything, and FaceTiming my dad at work begging him to just let me stay with him….that Rudolf can find a job over in the states…and I can live in the basement forever….and we can all be happy.
When I was about five on my second day of Kindegarten, I remember walking into school and some little snot nosed kid that was in my class looked over at me and asked me if I had done my homework. I still, to this day, remember the panic that rose in my chest and the absolute confirming thought in my mind of “oh my dear God I didn’t do my homework….I need help!!!” I dashed back to the car that my dad was in that was thankfully still in the parking lot and grabbed his hand sobbing. I was absolutely NOT going to face this dire circumstance without him. So my big strong dad, took me by the hand, walked me into my class, and asked the teacher about the “homework”- of which she replied to with “Oh my goodness no of course there is not homework…they are in Kindegarten”. Thank you idiot boy whoever you are for getting me that worked up.
Anyway, throughout my life there have been those moments. Those moments of “Nope. Ain’t gonna happen. Not walking through that door alone”. …Those moments when you realize that just about everything you know, love and appreciate is behind you and there is some big scary monster called “unknown” in front of you telling you you haven’t done your homework.
Cheerleading tryouts. My first day of Middle School. A lot of my days in middle school. My first day in high school. Going to camp Kanakuk by myself. Going to college. Going to Belgium. And now, coming back to Belgium.
This time, my dad wasn’t in the car in the parking lot waiting for me, but on a phone talking to me through skype. His words, my momma’s words, friends prayers and my fiancee’s encouragement, coaxed me through those next few hours.
And then something hit me that my Mom had told me over Christmas break. She was reading a book called “1000 gifts” by Ann Voskamp. This devotional/bio story tells the story of one woman’s journey to find joy admist every single day with Christ. She talks about how in the Bible, the thanksgiving always precedes the miracle. And even when Christ is at his most vulnerable, he thanks God. And then the miracle of his resurrection and our salvation occur. Mom told me this whole story about giving thanks. About trying to write down “gifts” or things we are thankful for each day in order to find true joy…to be able to see better how God is ALWAYS there for us. She told me all about this book and then gave me the book and the devo for Christmas.
So as I was standing in line for the bus that was about to take me back to the airport for my second attempt at flight, I remembered her words. “Count your Blessings---even if they are just as small as the sun in the sky and the oxygen in the air…just keep counting”.
So with every ounce of energy I had and attempting to ignore the huge lump of fear in my chest, I started to thank God. I made the conscious choice to begin to thank him with everything I had.
I thanked him that the bus we were getting onto had a sign on it for an “AGAPE International Church” that the bus was used for earlier that morning. He was here with me…showing me that his love for me was unconditional (AGAPE).
I wrote down that one simple thanks into a list on my phone titled “Thankful” and then closed it. I sat next to a nice, quiet Indian girl who looked about my age for the next 30 minutes on the way back to the airport.
As we pulled to the airport, she sighed at me and said “Thank goodness we are finally leaving”. I smiled and introduced myself. She asked where I was going and what plans I had in Brussels. I told her about my internship, my future work at the Parliament and my incredible fiancée.
I finish briefly and she smiles and says…I am interning at the Parliament next semester too! I thought my heart was going to stop. It took everything in me not to hug her. Out of all the people on that shuttle who were on the plane from the previous night, I sat next to a girl who was also interning at the European Parliament this semester.
We began to talk so quickly. It was so comforting to feel like I had a friend to help me get through the next 12 hours. She told me about her life, her schooling, her parents…just about everything. We talked about already being homesick, about our great families. All of it.
And then as we got to the gate, I pulled out my phone, and asked her for her full name so I could add her as a friend on facebook. So, my phone opened up to my last saved note “Thankful” …and I handed it to her as she typed in her name. Ashta Sharma. Her name stayed there as number 2 on my thankful for list; I am thankful for Ashta and the timing of her presence in my life.
So, thanksgiving precedes the miracle. Even if it is just one tiny thanks about a bus taking a girl to an airport. The miracle may seem small to you…but having a friend in that moment meant the world to me, and only God knew how to provide that.
I have continued to try and give thanks each day since then…and now it is so much of what I think about. It help brings into perspective who I am, what I am doing here but more importantly who the God I serve is and all the majestic opportunities, big and small, that he provides for me.
So, the first part of my trip was scary, hard and overwhelming, but the past three weeks have been some of the coolest of my life. I am learning so much about the human rights world and political world that I long to be a part of. Lots of interesting meetings, seminars and workshops. I wake up every single day yearning to see what the day will hold and who I will get to meet and talk to (plus almost everyone in my office is British so its fun talking with them anyway lol).
I am so glad I didn’t go home three weeks ago. I am so glad that He knows the plans He has for me.
I know that little girl who “didn’t do her homework” in kindergarten will come back again, whether it is when I move to a new country, have a baby or start a new career…but I also know that my heavenly father (and earthly father/fiancée probably too) will always be able to take my hand and walk with me back where I am supposed to go, telling me gently that it is going to be alright
Love you guys,
Another blog update coming soon!
