Well Friday March 2 is almost a complete blur to me. I am sure I was in Springfield at some point going to my final classes before spring break…but if you ask me about most of that morning, I might as well have been in a coma. I’m sure people asked me things like, “How’s your morning Bailey?” or “What did you eat for breakfast?” or even “How’d that test go yesterday?”. All of which I am pretty sure I responded with…”Rudolf comes TODAY!!!!!!”
I got to the airport about an hour early. I paced. And went to the bathroom. And paced. And changed the chair I was sitting in twelve times. AND FINALLY two hours later (his flight was late), the man of the hour (of actually the year) walked out. I had pictured this moment in my mind so many times. I was going to yell his name and run to him and blah blah blah. What actually happened is that I had a complete out of body experience…ran to him without saying a word and just jumped into his arms before I think he knew who he was hugging. All I remember saying over and over again was…HIIIII, WOWWWW, HIIIIIII. We had some really deep conversations that first few minutes.
The first twenty four hours Rudolf was in town still seems like a blur to me. I remember reaching out to touch him several times just to make sure I really hadn’t lost my mind. Sunday was a really good day for my whole family. We got to go to church, relax afterwards and then hang out with my extended family that evening. It was so fun to just relax with some of my cousins and aunt and uncle and have them meet someone that is so close to my heart. I loved seeing Rudolf hang out with everyone. It was like seeing my two worlds intermix. Seeing people I love on both sides of the ocean get to know each other and have fun together. Such a cool experience.
Monday I got to witness my city man become a true country boy. When my mom and I drove up to my grandparents house (who live in the middle of no where Missouri), there was Rudolf out on the tractor next to my Dad and Grandpa. That whole day was so fun for me. Seeing Rudolf’s love for the outdoors come out and seeing him bond with even more of my family was so neat. I’m a little afraid that Ruodlf liked that country farm house a little TOO much. I made it very clear that I needed to live within 20 minutes of a mall someday ( I mean I am still my mother’s daughter).
The next day we started more of our Roadtrip. We got to visit Lambert’s, Home of the Throwed Rolls, where we were served the largest soda’s we both had ever seen. It was funny to me how shocked Rudolf was about all the “free” food at Lambert’s…I think we paid a total of 13 dollars for our meal which included a Barbeque sandwhich, fried okra, fried potatoes, apple butter, fries, rolls, and two LARGE sodas. Now that’s “Merica”.
Later that day Rudolf and I got to visit Memphis before heading down to Texas to visit my aunt’s and cousins on my mom’s side of the family. We definitely took a wrong turn trying to get to Memphis and ended up driving straight through the rough side of town. Suprisingly, I was the driver during this section of the roadtrip, which is shocking because I usually am so good at navigating. Memphis was a lot of fun: good barbeque, good blues music, a fun tram ride, and lots of people all around willing and wanting to tell you about their city.
The next day Rudolf and I spent most of the day in the car heading down to Texas. We almost died at one point when I made Rudolf cut through five lanes of traffic to get off at the next exit. Why did we need to get off at that next exit you ask? TACO BUENO. Those of you who know me understand that this needs no explanation. I think Rudolf definitely saw all of me on this trip, the good, the bad, and the crazy Taco Bueno lady. I am blessed he didn’t want to get on a plane right then and there ;)
Texas was wonderful. Again, it was so neat that entire week to feel such love from ALL my family members all over the country. They each went out of their way to make sure that they could see us and hang out with us, even if it was just for a few minutes. I was so proud to show my wonderful man just how great my family is. They may be a little loud, a little crazy, but I am so entirely blessed to have them in my life. As I got to watch Rudolf interact with just about everyone I know and love, my heart settled in a way I didn’t know it could. He melts right into our family. He can handle the craziness (or so he thinks), and he does it fantastically.
At dinner the next night, Rudolf told me he tried a “social experiment” to try and get in on the conversation at dinner with my two aunts, my uncle and my cousin. Some of you may know that I get a little excited about things sometimes, and sometimes I’m just a little bit like my mother (who is very loud sometimes)…well when you put me around my two aunts (who are some of the greatest people I know, but a little loud sometimes), I start to get a little loud and excited too. You just can’t help yourself when you are around such great people you know??? J
Rudolf said he counted that Uncle Jim only spoke once during dinner and my cousin Sam didn’t say one word at all lol. Rudolf said that he attempted to chime in several times using his European manners (supposedly everyone is a little bit quieter over there). When that didn’t work, he shouted like the rest of us. When in Rome I guess J
Overall, it was one of the single greatest weeks I have ever had. I got to see my family meet one my best friends who means the world to me, and I got to see how well they interacted. Another thing that was amazing that week was seeing my relationship with Rudolf work in America. Right before he came, I was so nervous that I had literally lost my mind by falling in love with him. Could this guy really be the one for me? Was our relationship really that great in Brussels? I looked back at our pictures constantly and got to see myself so happy…would I still be that happy? Was I literally off my rocker for thinking this would work?
No. I may be completely off my rocker still (for other reasons lol) but I was not crazy to fall in love with this man. This Godly man who loves me in the purest sense of the word, who teaches me everyday more and more about the way I want to treat people and who gently guides me back to the Lord all the time. He does not complete me, but man…I sure like myself a whole lot when I’m around Him. I am learning more and more each day about true love..and what’s funny about it is that it constantly reminds me of the Lord’s love for me.
I ‘ve always known that my parent’s love me unconditionally, but they have to don’t they? I mean I literally am part of them…its kind of their duty to love the tall skinny brat they created. But Rudolf…He can leave whenever he wants to lol! But he doesn’t… he loves the quirks about me that I don’t even love. He loves the fact that I am clumsy, that I get lost easily, that I can’t cook food…He loves these quirks and is so excited to help me, comfort me and take care of me everyday. How can someone see the best in me even when I can’t?
Rudolf is not perfect. We all have our weak moments…and I know for a fact that plenty of the quirks he loves now he will probably detest in about twenty years…but the analogy is still the same. No wonder Christ calls the church the bride and He acts as the groom…its the closest representation to true love He can show us! It’s the purest form of love our minds can logically wrap around. How could a being so great, so majestic, love me so much that He would give up His life for me? And how could that being, who knows everything about me (all my faults, failures, issues, insecurities) still want to die for me even after He knew I would mess up time and time again?
It’s funny…I have asked myself questions about Rudolf before that are kind of similar to these…and even though I can ask those questions and wonder why he loves me…I know he does. That fact never changes. His love for me is so evident in all He does, how he treats me, how he talks to me, how he takes care of me, etc. I don’t ever question his love for me…but I have bogged myself down with WHY he does. Just like I do with Jesus.
I feel like some of my biggest struggles in life with Christ have been with this question. I have felt not good enough for His love, like I had made too many mistakes, my heart wasn’t right, my thought life was screwed up, I freakin had way too many issues for Jesus to deal with. I pray that I can work on accepting Christ’s love like I do Rudolf’s love. I pray that I can see His love washing over me every day as I encounter new situations, new people, etc. I pray that I can realize the “God moments” in every day conversations; that I can see God’s love through the people He has deliberately and directly placed in my life for such a time as this.
And I will pray you can do that as well. I pray that His love is more real for you than ever before and that everyday the Holy Spirit will guide you to realize God’s love in simple, ordinary situations. I pray that we as a human race can accept God’s love despite our failutres and mistakes just like we accept the love of our parents, friends and spouses after a trial, mistake or hurt.
For the first time in my life, I’m starting to get this whole love thing. You don’t deserve it. And that’s entirely, 100% ok.
Love you guys!
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