No it is not my Mom’s birthday, nor is it mother’s day… but
I wanted her to know in a special way today that I love her and am SO proud of
who she is.
I am often called mini-Penny. This phrase used to scare the
daylights out of me….because I swore to myself I would never talk to strangers
like she did, that I would never accidentally imitate the accents of foreigners
like she did, that I would never speak as loudly as she did in movies....
And today, after reminiscing a bit, tearing up a bit and
thanking the Lord a bit…I realized that not only do I do all of those things
like my mother, but I am so thankful that I do.
My dad started a new job this week at our church. Everyone
is SO proud of him, so thankful for him and treasures his advice, words of encouragement
and expertise so much. Me and my family are of course overwhelmed with pride
for him. And I will be the very first person to admit that I am a daddy’s girl.
My dad is such an incredible example for a young girl of what her heavenly
father looks like. No, Bob Bollinger is not perfect…but he’s as pretty close to
Hercules as one can get in my mind. He has taught me through his words and
actions to love the Lord wholeheartedly and to care deeply for those around
you. I am so blessed to have the father that I do, and now have a fiancée that
so closely resembles him in so many ways.
I say all of that to say, my dad has gotten a lot of press
throughout the last four years. He has battled a tumor, long rounds of
chemotherapy, and taken countless amounts of pills that have done everything
but killed him. Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud of my dad, so blessed by him
and have learned so much from watching him love the Lord so consistently
through all of this….but the person at the end of the day behind my dad and my
family is my mom.
That woman has been such a strong, quiet (yes, I said
quiet) warrior for my family.
I wrote a letter to my Mom that I read to our church for
Mother’s Day 2009 right after dad got sick…here is an excerpt from it
“
I think a major problem in this world is our selfish nature---how we each
individual human focuses only on ourselves.. We all do it, constantly. I think
that is why so many diseases, wars and conflicts occur every single second of
every single day…we just can’t get past ourselves.
Let
me tell you one thing--- whether it is staying up with my brother forcing him
to do geometry homework or holding me while watching a chick flick after a
really bad break up--- my mom definitely defies her selfish nature to take care
of us.
She
may be thoroughly exhausted by the time we get home from school after she goes
to the hospital with my dad, but she somehow focuses on us…we turn to her and
depend on her like nothing ever changed. And she gets the job done. She is the
reason this family still works. My dad may be sick but my mom picks up his
slack and remains her amazing self— a little loud but WAY full of life in a way
we should all want to be.
In the past six months, I have come to
understand that our moms love us selflessly. They see the best in us even when
we are crazy and emotional. They love us and take care of us no matter how
tired hurt or frustrated they are.
The strength and love that my mom has shown me
and my family has helped me in my faith---you see, I see a glimpse of how God
loves us in the way my mom loves me and takes care of me. She shows me that
there must be a God and that this world may be ruled by selfish nature---but
selfless love can defy that and conquer it.”
So fast forward
three years…and now I am engaged, moving off to a foreign country in about 2 ½
months and my poor mom is left trying to love and support me through it all,
which she does.
Whether it has been through her
countless hours of prayer for me and my future husband (which we now know is
Rudolf), liking every post I have ever had on Facebook, sending me sweet text
messages telling me to “remember whose image I’m made in”, taking me on
spending sprees to Goodwill (don’t knock it til you try it people), or cuddling
with me even when she doesn’t want to while we watch hoarders…. I have come to
cherish, appreciate and look up to her and the way she loves me and ALL of
those around her.
Today I am more
like my mom than ever….and more proud to be than ever. I have her
mannerisms, her hand
gestures, her laugh, her hands, her nose and her “gusto” for life… I pray that
no matter what country I am, what language I am trying to speak (or imitate
unknowingly), that I not only continue to have her qualities, but most
importantly, that I seek the Lord the way she does … and that I try to love ALL
people with God’s love, just like my momma does.
In the letter that I read to my mom on mother’s day all
those years ago…I told her I was going to miss her immeasurably that next year
while off at college. And the same goes for right now almost four years later…
Mom, I am going to miss you so much while I’m in Belgium for
the first part of next year. It hurts my heart to even think about it…but I
want you to know that so much of who I am is because of you. I am SO honored to
be called your daughter and promise to take all you have taught me everywhere I
go in this life.
And I promise I will be home before you have grandchildren.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX-04oKskFs
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